memiors of a geisha

aisha_koi @ 2008-09-21T18:00:00

2008-09-21T22:04:30Z

.....

aisha_koi @ 2008-01-15T01:41:00

2008-01-15T06:43:10Z

Everyone should start over.
We should all forget our past.
Shake hands, and exchange names.

aisha_koi @ 2008-01-13T00:01:00

2008-01-13T05:02:15Z

Damn. I forgot about the suitcase..

aisha_koi @ 2008-01-08T12:47:00

2008-01-08T17:57:01Z

I'm miserably sick.
Called out of work.
Haven't slept in twenty-four hours.
Amelia gave us the scare of a lifetime.
I can't stop shaking.
I can't hold my food down.
I saw a shooting star last night.
Made a reasonable wish.
Jeff's coming over in less than ten minutes.

I'll pull myself back together because I have no choice.

I have the concert Thursday.
Friday I have a luncheon with my sisters.
Saturday I have placement tests.
And then I'm going to college.
To completely start a new life.

Suprisingly, didn't go as bad a I thought it would.
Lots of screaming, regretful words, and throwing things.
After a complete temper tantrum/break down, I'm pretty stable.

I apologize a head of time.
I'm sorry for cutting you out of my life.

aisha_koi @ 2008-01-03T18:04:00

2008-01-03T23:05:29Z

I have field work this semester. :]]]]

aisha_koi @ 2007-12-30T02:02:00

2007-12-30T07:04:05Z

Shane is giving up sex for excersise?!? Third episode. That's like..like WRONG. I live for her sex scences..

aisha_koi @ 2007-12-26T23:33:00

2007-12-27T05:42:00Z

I never used to cry.
I've kept everything so tightly sealed away.
I never realized how much I ignored my feelings.
Now all I do is cry.
I've cried atleast twice a day since September.
And I can't find a single reason why.
Is it all in my head?

I'm so emotional I cry during commericals.
I cry when people get off the phone with me.
I cry harder when people tell me to stop.
I cry when things don't work.
I cry when I can't get a single person to stop
and listen for five seconds.
I cried becaused it iced out tonight.

I want to stop crying.
I want the holidays to be over.
I want to get far away from here.
I hate this place.
I hate where I am.
I hate the attachment I have to it.
I hate who I've become.

I was this hardass.
Someone who didn't care.
Rubbed off everything with sarcasm.
Kept to herself, didn't bother.

Now I want to bother.
I want to be close to someone.
I care too much now.
I want a second chance.
Is that asking too much?

Am I going to spend my entire first semester like you? Not that it'd be so terrible in the end, your a pretty amazing person.

aisha_koi @ 2007-12-21T09:47:00

2007-12-21T14:50:57Z

Things I've learned this morning:
My aunt is not poor; just cheap.
Aunt Kimmie makes $23 dollars an hour, and no one has any idea what she does with the money.
Southern is a pain the ass.
Triples are bad.
I should've worked more this week.
Milk is absolutely postively not agreeing with me any more.
Sammie is an asshole; yet she's still my best friend.
Other people should be put first; because they don't treat me terrible.
I really just like the babies.
I seriously need $300 dollars.

aisha_koi @ 2007-12-20T20:05:00

2007-12-21T01:05:38Z

I'm aggervated with you. Just like the rest of the world.

Just a song. :] With a bit of advice.

2007-12-21T00:53:37Z

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…

aisha_koi @ 2007-12-17T15:24:00

2007-12-17T20:24:56Z

I got into Southern for Spring. :] Except I have no letter yet, so I still have my fingers crossed...

PS. They declared me a History Major. .SO I'll be fixing that.

Elementry Education & Special Education [ eventually thats what its will be. :] ]

Note to Self: you will most likely change your mind again by the end of the semester.

aisha_koi @ 2007-12-07T22:43:00

2007-12-08T03:45:00Z

I have a name. It's Ashley.
Let me spell that out for you.
A-S-H-L-E-Y. Ashley.
Ashley Walker Michelle Wainwright.
Now let's try and continue to call me Ashley, yeah? :]
High school is over.

It'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry.

2007-12-02T00:03:53Z

One of my biggest fears is hitting my moms car. And..um I did. Ohno.

aisha_koi @ 2007-11-05T12:06:00

2007-11-05T17:27:35Z

<lj-cut text="Surveyyyy.">

9 lasts:
1. cigarette: the way sammie smokes.. i might as well just start..
2. beverage: water
3. kiss: a while ago
4. hug: umm.. last night
5. movie seen: Monster House
6. cd played: Who knows
7. song listened to: Tattoo - Jordan Sparks
8. bubble bath: Longlong time
9. time you cried: The other day

8 have you evers:
1. dated one of your best friends: Oh yess.
2. skinny dipped: Kinda of?
3. kissed somebody and regretted it: Not really.
4. fallen in love: Oh yeah.
5. lost someone you loved: Yeah.
6. been depressed: Who hasnt?
7. been drunk and threw up: Twice.
8. ran away: Nahh

7 states you've been to:
1. Virginia
2. New York
3. Massachusettes
4. Rhode Island
5. South Carolina
6. Florida
7. Ohio

6 things you've done today:
1. Worked
2. Started a new journal
3. Told my Gyno I'm gay
5. Dyed my hair
6. Got Dunkin Donuts

5 favorite things in no order:
1. Friends
2. You. :]
3. Sammie and babies
4. Family
5. Anddd music

4 people you last talked to:
1. Amanda
2. The gyno
3. Mom
4. Anddd.. Ms Co?

3 wishes:
1. things would get better.
2. that college would come sooner.
3. that things get easier for you.

2 things you want to be when you grow up:
1. happy
2. a teacher :]

1 thing you regret:
1. Um. Nothing. :]

______

1) Where'd you get the shirt you're wearing?
Idk. Grammer school.

2) Who do you currently like?
It's not that I dont like them..Idk. <3

3) Do they like you?
I'm not sure anymore.

4) Sunrise or Sunset?
Sunset

5) What time did you go to bed last night?
11:00

6) Time you woke up?
6:00

7) What was the last movie you watched? When/With who?
Monster House. At Soncca, with Dan.

8) When's your birthday?
April 30th

9) Last thing that pissed you off?
Myself.

10) Are you cocky?
Kind of, I guess. In a way.

11) Can you speak french?
Nahh.

12) Have you ever been to Mexico?
Nope

13) Do you make your bed daily?
Nooo.

14) Your favorite movie?
I dont knowww.

15) Your favorite tv show?
Americas Next Top Model
Tila Tequila
American Idol
The L Word

6) Single or taken?
Single.

17) Do you own slippers?
Somewheress

18) Boxers or briefs?
Boxers

19) Is there a TV in your bedroom?
Yes.

20) How many piercings do you have?
Only one. :[

21) What do you think of Tom Cruise?
Eh.

24) Last two numbers in your phone number?
51

25. Who was the last person you called?
Janyce

) Where are your parents from?
Connecticut

27) Are you afraid of the dark?
Yes

Can you roll your tongue?
Yes?

Who was the last person to call you?
Mom

Best fast food french fries?
McDonald

38) Who's in your house?
Me

) What are you doing today?
Work. Meeting. GLANCE.

1) What side of the bed do you sleep on?
The right.

42) Who was the last person in/on your bed other than you?
I dont know

43) Can you think of anyone special you want in your bed?
Yeah.

44) Your favorite season?
Autumn

54) Favorite current song:
Tatto - Jordan Sparks

55) Last person you gave up on?
I think they know who they are.
_________

.Who's #1 on your top 8?
Janyce

2. Have you ever smoked?
Yeah.

3. Do you own a gun?
Nope

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Yes

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
Eh, theyre okay.

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
Mm..Idk. :]

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Latte or Chai

9. Can you do push ups?

Yesss.
10. Is your bathroom clean?
Yes?

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
My rings.

12. Do you take painkillers?
Yeah.

13. Whats your secret weapon to lure in guys/girls?
I dont have one.

14. Do you have A.D.D.?
Nahh

15. What's your name?
Ashleyyy

16. Middle Name?
Walkerrr

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1. I miss my friends.
2. I cant wait till this weekend.
3. My hair is too short and too dark.

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought?
1. Purse
2. Pill holder.
3. Pants for tory

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
1. Tea
2. Water
3. Lattes

20. Are you in a good mood today?
Yeah. I have no reason to be in not a good mood.

21. Color of your socks: Grey

22. Current worry? Life in general.

23. Current hate? None really.

24. Favorite place to be? Wouldnt you like to know?

25. What are you excited about? This weekend.

26. Where would you like to go? The hooka bar. Or New York.

27. Do you own slippers?
Somewhere.

28. What shirt are you wearing?
A band shirt.

29. What's for dinner?
Haha.. uhh. Whatever they feed me at the meeting.

30. Favorite color(s)?
Green and black.

31. Would you be a pirate?
No.

32. Are there Aliens?
Yeahh

33. Do you sing in the shower?
Yes.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
The boogeyman.

35. What's in your pockets right now?
I dont have pants on.

36. Who would win? Robo-Cop or the Terminator?
Idk.

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
Cant remember.

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
Who knows.

44. Do u wish on shooting stars?
I do..

45. What is your favorite book?
Umm.. Idk

46. What is your favorite candy?
Carmellos

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
I havent really thought about it..

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Umm.. doesnt mattter.

49. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night?
Sleeping.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Cant you walk to the bus stop?

aisha_koi @ 2007-11-02T21:34:00

2007-11-03T02:34:25Z

Do you know what 01-01-06 was?

aisha_koi @ 2007-10-31T23:02:00

2007-11-01T04:02:53Z

i cant sleep. i cant stop thinking.

aisha_koi @ 2007-10-30T12:04:00

2007-10-30T17:10:35Z

17 Reasons Why.

aisha_koi @ 2007-10-29T22:35:00

2007-10-30T03:44:47Z

my stomach hurts so bad. its making me nauseous.

david hasnt been home since thursday and he was a no show for work friday and today. thats kind of weird, isnt it? i had to work at chatfield today, and for the most part i like it there. except that all they do is like to talk. your like forty and twenty-five, grow the fuck up? i shouldnt have even went in today, but they were short staffed so i went in intil the kids starting going home. and they decided that i mustve came into work drunk. thats nice, isn't it? make my life a little easier, yeah? :] thanksss. i have to go back tomorrow. except.. not. im calling jess..and im not working there unless i have too. theyre not short staffed tomorrow, theyre fucking lazy. sammie's moving into her new apartment this weekend, im going to be there a lot. im living on campus come the spring semester, thats my decision. i really need to get out of here. i would like to go farther away. i really do like the two colleges i looked at in MA, but its a little late to being thinking about it now. so southern will have to do, plus if i do go for this teaching degree CTs test lets you teach anywhere in the states im pretty sure. gah.. i wish january would come sooner. i need some social interaction. its killing me. im a mess.. for the dumbest reasons.

Ashley is thrilled that she finally got LJ to work!

2007-10-25T23:50:14Z

Thanks to someone, I'm currently working with young kids. And I'm doing kindergaten most recently, however I didn't get the job permently. They wanted someone with credentials from college or whatever. It's okay, but I really like them and don't want to leave because the teacher SUCKS. But it's okay I'm going back to school[Southern] for the Spring semester! :] Are you excited? Well, wait for it. I'm majoring in Early Childhood Education, and I think if I can I'm going to minor in Special Education. That's really it, I'm hitting the hooka bar Saturday with Sammie. Her babies are fucking adoreable.

I have a lot to say, but here and now is not the time. :]

<lj-cut>

<img scr= <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b77/aishakoi/ameliaandjaymie.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket">

This Is You. The One. The Legend. The Hero.

First of all...
What time is it right now?: 736
What is your name?: Ashley
What is/are your nickname(s)?: Aisha, Ash, Bean
Do you have to sneeze right now?: Nah
What are you listening to right now?: Apologize
What should you be doing right now, besides taking this lovely survey?: Hahaha.. moving on.
Is anyone with you?: Nah
Are you enjoying any refreshments while you take this survey? If so, what?: Nope

Favorites. ^^
Favorite color?: Green
Second favorite color?: Black
Favorite accent color? (i.e. gold, silver, bronze, etc.): Silver
Favorite food?: Seafood!
Second favorite food?: Pasta
Favorite band?: Maroon 5
Favorite song?: Mm..Idk
Favorite genre of music?: Alternative
Favorite album?: Sticks and Stones
Favorite decade for music?: 90s
Favorite female vocalist?: Alanis Morisette
Favorite male vocalist?: Mm..dont have one
Favorite guitarist?: Dont have one
Favorite drummer?: Mm..
Favorite bassist?: :]
Favorite pianist/keyboardist?: Polly?
Favorite DJ?: You know..
Favorite instrument?: Clarinetttt.
Favorite movie?: Balto!
Favorite movie genre?: Comedy, romance, horror
Favorite actor?: Mm..
Favorite actress?: Katherine Moennig
Favorite scary movie?: Silent Hill
Favorite romance movie?: Mm..Idk
Favorite comedy?: Eurotrip
Favorite indie flick?: :]
Favorite drama flick?: Idk.. 23
Favorite 'feel good' movie?: Balto!
Favorite animated film?: Balto...
Favorite TV show?: The L Word, Americas Next Top Model, American Idol
Favorite cartoon character: Scooby Doo
Favorite anime character?: Sakura
Favorite medium? (for painting): :]
Favorite celebrity female?: Kate
Favorite celebrity male?: Ashton
Favorite author?: Dean Koontz
Favorite book?: Butterfly
Favorite book character?: Ron
Favorite lit. genre?: Shut up..
Favorite school subject?: English
Favorite candy?: Carmello
Favorite drink?: Milk
Favorite brand of bottled water?: Ethos
Favorite brand of candy?: ..
Favorite sport to play?: Soccer
Favorite sport to watch?: Soccer
Favorite alcoholic beverage?: Smirnoff, Mixed vodka
Favorite soda?: Pepsi
Favorite energy drink?: Mm..Amp
Favorite time of the day?: Night time
Favorite comedian?: Dane Cook
Favorite store?: Depends..
Favorite word?: I dont know
Favorite element? (i.e. Earth, Fire, etc.): Earth!
Favorite element? (i.e. Hydrogen, Uranium, etc.): No idea
Favorite animal?: Moose, wolf
Favorite language?: Mine
Favorite country?: England or Germany
Favorite word?: You aksed that..
Favorite sound?: Rain
Favorite poem?: No idea
Favorite piece or furniture?: My bed
Favorite time of the year?: Autumn
Favorite holiday?: Halloween
Favorite season?: Autumn
Favorite scent?: Cinnamon
Favorite number?: 13
Favorite girl's name?: Madison, Amelia
Favorite boy's name?: Curtis,
Favorite kind of jewelry?: Ring
Favorite precious metal? (for jewelry): Mm..sterling

Random sh*t.
Do you love to smile/laugh?: Sometimes
Who is your best girl friend?: Mmm.. Sammie or Janyce
Who is your best guy friend?: Kenny
How do you like your eggs?: Mm..not eggs
Got rice?: Mm..maybe
Have you ever been spit on by a camel?: Nope
When is your birthday?: 4 30 89
What kind of car do you want?: Mustang or an SUV Sportage
How many kids do you want?: Idk.. one or two..
Who is your celebrity crush?: Kate Moennig
How many crushes do you have at school?: I dont go to school
What are ^their^ names? >:3:
Who would you die for?: lets no go there..alright?
Do you believe in God?: depends on the day
What's one fetish you have?: Haha..
If you were a mythical creature, what would you be?: Unicorn!
If you could have any pet, what would it be?: Anohter cat
How do you feel about birds?: Ew.
What are a few things you collect?: Mm.. nothing really anymore. Sea shells
Are you in love?: Mm.. yeah
Do you play DDR? If so, what level?: Nah
What color eyes would you love to have?: Mine are fine
What part of your body do you favor?: Boobs, hair, eyes..
Can you cook?: Oh yes
Are you in to Philosophy?: Kinda of
How cool are you?: Too cool for you

This or That.
Hot or Cold?: Cold
Left or Righ?: Left
Sweet or Sour?: Both!
Fingers or Toes?: Fingers :]
Glass or Plastic?: Glass
Carpet or Hardwood?: Hardwood
Day or Night?: Night
Morning or Evening?: Evening
Comedy or Tragedy?: Both
Stewert or Colbert?: Neither
Loss of sight or Loss of hearing?: Neither thank you
Democracy or Socialism?: Democracy
Facts or Theories?: Theories
Mentos or Tic Tacs?: Either
Italian or Mexican?: Italian
Family Guy or Robot Chicken?: Family Guyyyy
Choir or Band?: Choir
Gospel or Jazz?: Jazz
Chris Crocker or Jefree Star?: Jefree Star
=^.^= or -___-;;?: the second one?
NaruXSaku or NaruXHina?: No idea..
This or That?: That

A few last things...
Are you hungry?: Nahh
Is there anything in your house that makes you uncomfortable?: Yes
What are you listening to now?: Soilder Boy
Did I waste a bit of your life just now? >:3: Oh yes..

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aisha_koi @ 2007-09-06T15:50:00

2007-09-06T19:53:57Z

Amelia Ann and Jaymie Faye are gunna be born today! :]

aisha_koi @ 2007-09-04T20:10:00

2007-09-05T00:13:54Z

I think it's about time I made a couple of drastic changes in my life.

aisha_koi @ 2007-08-31T22:17:00

2007-09-01T02:30:42Z

This past month has most likely been the worst month of my life. Not so much that the world is ending or anything to dramatic. Just a lot of stuff has happened. Around the beginning of the month I started feeling sick[whats new?!] Then I ended up in the hospital with a heartrate of 180-200+. Yadayada..long story short they gave me medication and all this shit to slow down my heartrate. In the long run I had a hardcore anxiety attack, but in the meantime they had to do routine blood work. And there like everything is fine, but your thyriod test won't come back for about a week. And thyriod..psst! I'm eighteen. It comes back..and it's abnormal. I got in and oh suprise. I have an auto immune diease. It's called Hashimoto's Diease. And as retarded as it sounds..it really it retarded. My body attacks my thyriod and destroys it..end of story. I have to take thyriod replacement medication for the rest of my life.

And lastly I started college and ended college like this week. I went for three days..and I hated it so much. I couldn't deal..in reality I'm not ready for college. And it's as simple as that. I should get this job at the daycare...I don't see why not. I hope everyone's doing better than I am.

aisha_koi @ 2007-06-22T02:52:00

2007-06-22T06:53:12Z

aisha_koi @ 2007-04-07T20:39:00

2007-04-08T00:52:35Z

oooh my i havent updated in a long time. i havent really been up to much lately. basically made a decision about college.. im going to baypath for a year(possibly southern..but id perfer not too) and then transfer to a college that has my major. i think i found my calling in life. buttt we dont to talk about that right now.

i went to bilies party last night ..kinda boring i guess? i dont really like parties.. especially in confined, cramped area. that would fall under the fear of large crowds. i guess.. im kinda weird. i guess if i like your parties.. be happy? i saw sammie before the party, along with jeffs penis.. its pretty big? haha.. you had you be there.. it was pretty funny. they were both kinda naked and shit.. ehh.

nowww im going to email katie and congradulate her on having babiesss. ;]

aisha_koi @ 2007-02-20T15:29:00

2007-02-20T20:30:54Z

this post is for kimmmmmm. so kim. i hope you see it.

before and after.

<img src="http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b77/aishakoi/m_e9591a6b527e1c6bd353a71edeac648f.jpg">
<img src="http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b77/aishakoi/cutepicture.jpg">